Rainy days it is

Ok, so finally last evening I got my behind in gear long enough to finish the lipbalm I've been working on. It's great, tastes great, and really really moisturizes. Filling 50 tubes with an eye-dropper was not so much fun though - but I don't want to invest yet in a specialized tool.

I also managed to do a half-assed filing and sorting of all the stacks of papework that were strewn around the house and that finally found a place to rest: about 10% of them went in the filing cabinet, about 60% went in the trashcan and the rest went in the pile of "to burn" (we don't use a shredder but prefer to use the grill outside).

And then, of course, I had to find this piece of information that totally pissed me off. Dr. Susan Love's look on Femara. Let me try and put it in layman's terms. Breast cancer is a finicky beast. And sometimes it feeds on your hormones. When it's gourmet delicacy is the estrogen your body makes, once they remove the tumor (or do a biopsy of it) the doctors want to stop your body from producing estrogen - obviously with the intent of starving any cancer cells that might want to take residence anywhere in your body.

The thing is, your body does need estrogen for a lot of other things, like bone health and heart health and skin health and others; hence women when they reach menopause and their ovaries stop producing estrogen, their hair thins, their bones become brittle, they get shortness of breath, and they start packing on weight, as the adrenal glands take over estrogen production  and store it in the body fat. You with me so far? So if you are not menopausal yet, you get this drug that is called Tamoxifen (that stops your body producing the "bad" estrogen but also carries a risk of contracting uterine cancer); if you are menopausal, then you get something called "aromatase inhibitors", of which there are three, Arimidex, Aromasin or Femara (Letrozole). These have been used only in recent years so there is not so much known about them as it is known about Tamoxifen. The only thing known is that they deplete the body of estrogen to the point that you get osteoporosis and heart conditions.

The biggest study that was done was on Femara, and it touted amazing results: 60% reduction in breast cancer recurrence. Awesome, right?

And then I find this small piece of information from Dr. Susan Love. And I see: " The study found that, overall, 2% (31) of the 1579 women taking letrozole had a recurrence compared with 4.9% (39) of the 804 women who chose to not take the drug. This is the 60 percent reduction noted in the media stories. (A reduction of 4.9% to 2% is a reduction of 60%.)" And more. Point is, it seems that the benefits aren't as great as touted, and the risks are quite considerable in terms of osteoporosis and heart health. 

I took Arimidex for 4 months. It brought my blood pressure to 160/90 from my normal 110/68. Then the oncologist gave me Aromasin. I was on it for about 8 months before getting in such a pain (joints and bone pain are a known side effect from any aromatase inhibitor) that I practically couldn't move. Ok, pause one month then go on Femara. After another 6 months on Femara, pain again, to the point that only opiates could make me function. Skip forward another 4 months - my MRIs and CT scans and Xrays show severe osteoarthritis in my hips, spine, shoulders, hands. Bone density scan shows I have lost a frigging 9.6% of bone density in my lumbar spine. And CT shows beginning of aterosclerosis. Wonderful, isn't it? I f@#$ING STOPPED IT. Stuffing my face now with Glucosamine and calcium and Vitamin D3 and lots and lots of supplements in the hopes I will be able to at least stop the degeneration process in my body that this shit has brought on.

Of course, you will say "are you crazy? why did you stop? what if the cancer returns?" Well, peeps, between living like a 90 years old in order to live an extra 3 years, and living normally even if 3 years less, I chose quality of life.

I just wish the doctors would tell you the truth, instead of touting the treatments and berating you like a child for not wanting to be a sheeple.